Just another phase...

And so I've been forced to immerse myself into another phase of considerable stress... there's a major deadline coming up and I have a large amount of writing for my papers to do this month.
Which means I'm afraid, that the updates for this blog will be slightly slower than anticipated. However I will be responding to comments (since these don't take much time *^^*) and am currently compiling and selecting the photos from my holiday to be published. So please bear with me!


Another phase... yes another one... but also in terms of my personal growth. No not physical growth unfortunately, oh how I wish to be taller... ( ; _ ; )


But a mental metamorphosis. I'm not changing to something extremely different, but perhaps striving towards an extreme version of myself. In otherwords.. becoming more and more boldly ME.


I believe we all go through these in various stages of life, possibly most obviously during teenage years and those who have a midlife crisis etc. 


But I'm revamping, rediscovering and re-enlightening myself, my old self, and creating my future self *^^*.



I miss my wild carefree unconditionally naive passionate self from my youth (wow I sound old here), and I want to keep my mature, down-to-earth, realistic personality that has always underpinned my actions, but I also wish to encourage my idealistic part of me that dreams for the future.


For me, my life is unexplainably more dramatic than the average person. Not sure why though. Because I'm an artist? Born to be an artist and yet not undertaking the career of one? Oh, the life of an artist hold many promises of drama....   it's definitely the case.
Perhaps it's because my upbringing is rather curious, which meant I have developed a rather curious, interesting, odd character...
I'm often told I have an odd charm to me... subtle, but oddly bold at the same time. I guess you'll have to meet me to know. I'm not sure myself, but I know that I am a person full of contradicting aspects... yet I don't see it as contradicting points, more, complimenting aspects that form part of me.


Feminine, petite stature, with a boyish personality that has both extremes of liberal and reserved dimensions. One who dreams for things with her heart in the clouds but her feet and mind thoroughly planted on the ground, striving to make things possible, real and true. Quiet, reserved and shy, insecure demeanour yet with a confidence and wildness awaiting to erupt at the right time. A fashion sense both classic yet calmly eccentric to express her own personality. Thumbs in numerous pies to satisfy her need for knowledge and curious soul, and her continuous journey to improve herself in as many ways possible..


What is she? What am I? Someone with that profile is surely an artist in my own eyes.. an artist whom thinks and lives like an artist but doesn't live as an artist. Haha why didn't I continue being an artist, in the music industry? Why am I stuck doing this PhD?


I've finally figured it out..


Because life is a huge performance, with the aim of finding one's own unique role and character to play, to create our own role and plot... but this performance has many acts and many stages.. each of the are different and unpredictable. Just because it doesn't seem like 'your stage' doesn't mean it isn't a stage... we should treat every stage of life as a stage to excel in and to perform your utmost, showing the world who you are and what you can do.


Although I'm doing this PhD, and it's not my passion, it isn't to say I don't enjoy it or won't learn from it, or I can't be who I am whilst doing this. I don't think any one can take away what I've learnt from music, or stop me from keeping that bond I have with the arts... because at the end of the day, I am me because of who I am and what I've done.. and just because I'm doing something unexpected, I will not feel regret, remorse or restriction.


In that light... I'm going to go through a thorough reorganisation of my daily routines to become fitter, better, more creative, more wild, and more me (*^^*)




Be warned *^.~*